Sex with erectile dysfunction can sometimes feel a little scary, or maybe it has lost a bit of the excitement that you once used to feel before ED became part of your life. You may find yourself avoiding sex in general, nervous that you won’t be able to perform, or will lose your erection in the middle of sex.
So what can you do? Maybe you’ve seen your doctor and be prescribed medication to help or even incorporated some lifestyle changes to increase your overall health. You’re on the path to managing your ED, but still need a little extra help when it comes to doing the deed. Maybe trying a new sex position is all you and your partner need to put you over the erectile dysfunction hill.
Here are the best sex positions to try if you have ED and some bedroom tips to get your sex life back in motion.
When it comes to the physical mechanisms that allow you to achieve and maintain an erection, it’s all about blood flow. You want to find a position that isn’t too strenuous on other parts of the body besides the penis so that the body isn’t attempting to divert the blood elsewhere. For example, if a man is standing during sex, he’s using large groups of muscles in the glutes and thighs to thrust.
To avoid the diversion of blood away from the penis and pelvic area, instead, try a position that takes away some of the additional efforts from the man. Try having your partner get on top while you lay on your back so that your body is free to focus the blood flow to the penis. Or, get in the position for spooning, with both of you on your sides, and you enter from behind. You’ll be able to use the laying position to your advantage and keep the blood flowing to your penis.
While you may be wanting to experiment in the bedroom, thinking that something new will be the extra touch of excitement you need to power through your ED, stay away from positions that involve acrobatics. Not only will you be diverting blood to other muscles besides your penis, but you may be adding a touch more anxiety to sex that deters from the mental aspect of achieving an erection. So keep it simple, and try positions that make you feel comfortable.
Any time you’re trying to have sex, make sure you’re giving yourself the proper time to warm up before you move to penetrative sex. There are so many other ways to initiate and receive sexual stimulation other than the actual physical act of sex, so now is the time to get creative.
Buy some toys for you or your partner and see how those increase your arousal. Or, try to be more sexual outside of planned moments for intercourse. Maybe you and your partner agree to try out more spontaneous moments of intimacy that don’t necessarily end up with full-on sex so that you’re producing more sex hormones and building up the tension so that when it comes time for the act, you’re more excited.
Be Patient and Communicate
Whenever you’re trying out a new position or fantasy with your partner, especially with ED, make sure you’re keeping the channels of communication open during and after sex and give a new position a fair chance. If something isn’t turning you on, or taking you away from the moment, let your partner know and try something else. Or vice versa: if something is working to excite you, tell your partner.
This is especially important to keep in mind with ED because you may be super excited by something, but your penis may be slow to show it. Allow yourself to feel the sensations of sex or sexual acts, and try to avoid putting pressure on yourself to perform. A good partner will be understanding of your ED and want to work together to find the right position or act that works for both of you.
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