If you’re in a relationship with someone who is experiencing erectile dysfunction, or impotence, or you’re the one with ED, you know how the dynamic in the relationship can shift dramatically. Sex may have gone from something exciting and fun to a source of conflict or burden in your partnership.
Even though the physical act of penetrative sex may not be possible, that doesn’t necessarily mean that the sex drive of either partner is lacking or missing from the equation. When it comes to sex and intimacy with impotence, there’s still a vast opportunity to return the bedroom to fun and exciting instead of a source for shame and issue.
The keys to maintaining intimacy and sex without an erection lay mostly outside the bedroom.
If erectile dysfunction is making its debut appearance in your relationship, you may be dealing with a whole new world of issues and emotions. During this time, it’s vital that both partners create a safe space for open communication about how they are feeling towards sex and if they need anything from their partner.
Fostering an environment where both partners feel comfortable sharing how they feel and what they need in return builds a deeper bond of trust outside of the bedroom that can help retain or create the intimacy that you may feel like is missing if sex is no longer an option either of you feels comfortable with.
Maintaining communication could be something as simple as setting a time each week for a check-in with your partner, where both of you can share how you’re feeling individually and about the relationship. Or, if you feel like outside help is needed, a weekly or monthly couples therapy with a professional could help establish positive communication habits.
Try Something New
Believe it or not, sex doesn’t always have to be about penetration or climax. You and your partner still may want to rip each other’s clothes off, even if an erection isn’t happening. If you find yourself in this predicament, spice it up in the bedroom. Get creative with new ways to sexually stimulate your partner, not focusing on orgasm, but sensations of pleasure.
This could mean role-playing, using toys, or trying new methods of touch. Really, there is no way to go wrong here. Delve into ideas or fantasies that you and your partner have always dreamed of with an open mind and see where it takes you.
If you’re a man who experiences ED, you may feel embarrassed about your inability to get an erection and want to shut down when sex or intimacy comes into play. This avoidant behavior may actually be making your ED worse, as anxiety or stress around having ED can literally contribute to future sexual performance anxiety.
Shutting down and not wanting to address the issue with your partner or a medical professional shuts down any hopes for treatment and could make your partner feel alienated. While you may know that your ED doesn’t come from a lack of desire for your partner, they may take your avoidant behavior as an indication that it is.
While it may be hard at first to speak honestly about the way you’re feeling regarding your impotence, it’s necessary that you release those feelings and learn how to manage them. ED is quite common in men of any age and can be treated if properly addressed.
Stay Intimate Outside the Bedroom
Along the same lines as creating open flows of constant communication, bringing intimacy outside of the bedroom can be a great way to connect with your partner when sex to completion isn’t happening. Make time to enjoy time cuddling on the couch while watching your favorite TV show or a new movie. Or, make an effort to cuddle in bed before or after going to sleep. Try to hold hands when you’re going for a walk or on a date.
Feeling connected to your partner physically doesn’t have to be always about sex, and establishing these physical bonds can help you both feel a stronger sense of intimacy and trust with each other.
Doing these small things and making these simple changes can strengthen your relationship and even help address factors that contribute to ED itself.
If you and your partner are seeking a wearable ED treatment that’s proven to work, be sure to check out Eddie.
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