When it comes to erectile dysfunction and finding or keeping a partner, women may find themselves in a bit of a tough situation. If you’ve ever had a relationship with someone who experiences ED, you know that it can feel sometimes as though you’re missing an aspect of sexual intimacy.
For some women, it can be too much of a barrier to overcome. They may feel like they have an erectile dysfunction partner and not a sexual partner. But does ED have to be a dating dealbreaker or sexual buzzkill? The answer may be a bit of a grey area: your sexual relationship with a partner doesn’t exist in a vacuum.
There are a lot of factors when it comes to establishing a great sex life and a good relationship.
Dealbreaker or Opportunity?
In the early stages of a new relationship, it’s likely that you’re on high alert for potential red flags or dating dealbreakers. With every new step in this relationship, you’re looking for any indication of potential trouble. You reach the stage of sexual intimacy with this new partner, and they’re unable to get or maintain an erection.
While this may seem like a dealbreaker to some women, or maybe an unwanted hurdle to jump, it doesn’t have to be a block to your exciting new sex life with this partner.
When it comes to good sex, most women will agree that their orgasms often don’t come from penetrative sex alone. In fact, only 25 percent are able to achieve orgasm this way. An erect penis isn’t required for women to orgasm, and having a partner with erectile dysfunction could instead be an opportunity to explore different ways of having sex that you’ve never explored before.
Good sex is a two-way street, but also one that doesn’t have to end in completion for all parties 100 percent of the time. Orgasm for everyone involved may be the ideal scenario, but if your partner experiences ED, the reality is that this may not be possible for them.
His reaction and response to how this affects their sex life can be quite revealing of his character and abilities as a compassionate and giving partner.
A healthy sex life requires a bit of give-and-take. When it comes to a partner, you want them to be exactly that: a partner. Someone who does or shares something with you.
If your partner is completely disinterested in you reaching orgasm without their ability to achieve an orgasm, that may be the real red flag that you discover from this situation. If he still enjoys being physically intimate with you and is actively looking to meet your sexual needs otherwise, his erectile dysfunction doesn’t have to prevent you from having good sex or a vivacious sex life at all.
Finding out your new partner has erectile dysfunction may not be the best news, but it doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker. If your partner has consulted their doctor or a sex therapist and is seeking ways to manage or mitigate ED, then it doesn’t have to be a taboo subject or the red flag that it may initially appear as.
While bringing up this topic may be an uncomfortable conversation in a new relationship, if it is bothersome to you, you should open the channel of communication. Being able to establish this repertoire early in a relationship and allowing a partner to feel comfortable discussing it with you can open the relationship to a new level of intimacy.
Dealbreaker No More
Everyone has different needs or wants in a relationship, especially when it comes to sex. If every other aspect of the relationship is working, it seems a bit ridiculous to count a partner out simply because of ED.
Talk with your new partner about their ED and encourage them to address this issue with a doctor or therapist if you feel like it’s becoming a detriment to your budding relationship.
Erectile dysfunction doesn’t have to mean relationship dysfunction.